God works in SUPERCOOL ways!!

On a much more serious note.......Praise the Lord!!! God is certainly amazing in times of need. He has been providing for my family for a LONG time. Recently, both my younger sister an I are working on moving. We are both in need of provisions for things to go swimmingly. Prayers have been answered for both of us in the way of living needs for the upcoming move. Both of us have found apartments that are WAAY more affordable than some of the most expensive selections. We both are doing "contently" in the fiscal provisions department for the time being. My sister was provided with people and certain internet auctioning companies to come and buy her stuff......and LOW AND BEHOLD....When Kristi and I thought all was lost in getting some affordable furniture....BIPPITY BOPPITY BOOP......COUCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Doesn't God work in SUPERCOOL AWESOMENESS AMAZING BB&P WAYS!!!

Time?!?! WHAT TIME!?!?!

Do you ever feel like time goes by much faster for you than the rest of the world? Sometimes I feel like God or someone hit the fastforward button on my life (or atleast the 2x button.) I have tried to fit more and more things into my busy schedule and I feel like the day is over before it begins. I was talking to my professor yesterday about my upcoming project that is due in 3 weeks or so and I told him I would like to "get the ball rolling" and try to get it finished in two weeks. He looked at me with a straight face and said "if you took like 4 hours a day and worked diligently on it, you should do spectacular. I almost started laughing right in his face...IN THE FACE!. 4 HOURS A DAY!?!?!?!?!?!?!? WHAT IS THIS GUY SHOOTING-UP! I wish I had that kind of time to work on ANYTHING. But nay.....I do not. Well, I know some of you out there in Bloggerland feel my pain....any time managment tips?

The Killers Rock!

Just a quick post on the fact that I should have bought The Killers album months ago. It's AMAZING. I saw them on Austin City Limits and told myself I should buy their album. I've heard their two big hits off the album "Hot Fuss" for awhile, but never got around to buying the album till last night. If you like any old 80's britpop like Midnight Oil, Tears for Fears, and the like....you'll dig it.

Ninja's Vs. Pirates : The Movie

Are you Pumped?........are you REALLY PUMPED?? Do you love Ninja's or Pirates with your WHOLE BODY INCLUDING YOUR PEE PEE! Ninjas Vs Pirates......The Movie! There can be only one! Apparently, there are people who consider this to be a serious debatable topic. They consider it so much that they made a movie. I think it's a love story from watching the trailer. I am waiting to be in the proper mindset to try and watch the full movie (available at link) so that my bias does not hinder possible artistic evaluations of Ninja's Vs. Pirate's. As a movie critic I like to give MOST motion pictures their due and proper. Anyways, since there has been much debate lately on the NVP subject and I came to find out that my sister and fellow Ninja-Maniac had friends who obviously came from the shallow ends of their gene-pool and feel pirates are cooler than NINJA's. I will leave continued debate on the comment area up to you. (Ninja's are just cooler.....ask Mark...he's older than me)

<----Mark

The purpose of this post is to offer criticism on the NVP movie and it's possible effects on the larger debate as a whole. Is this true artistic expression, or is there a propaganda motive involved here? Is this a weapon of mass destraction on the part of a partial party?......Inquiring minds want to know.

NEWS FLASH: OPERATION GET HITCHED IS LESS THAN TWO MONTHS AWAY

C'MON PARTY PEOPLE....THROW YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR........well it's almost about a month and a 1/2 till Get Married Day! Kristi and I are about to foam at the mouth and throw pickles at people if the day doesn't get here SOON!!! My dad used to sing a song when I was a kid called "You don't get married in just one afternoon....." AND HE WAS RIGHT! I had no IDEA what all went into planning a wedding. First, there is alot of postage involved....stamps for the invitation, stamps for the RSVPS, stamps for the 3 bridal showers....lingerie, the gimme stuff shower, and her Pier One work is throwing a shower too. Why the hell don't you just put that info in the invitation along with where you are registered. Yeah, it may be tacky but WOW, be tacky! Save Postage! Also, to get married at a Southern Baptist Church (SBC) you gotta go through atleast 4 sessions of pre-martial counseling.



This is the book....For Couples Who Care!------->

(like there are couples who don't care)





This is the Author, John Trent (he does tricks like pull a piece of rope through a funnel to illustrate the narrow path (i.e. narrow is the way....)

Looks a little like someone else I know....... (except with hair)

Anyways, we are "struggling" through each session with patience....or is it longsuffering?

But I have faith in God he will put us in our place. He does that from time to time.......

(For my sister)

Anyways, after Jesus beats us in to submission like Georgie Boy, we hope to become a good ole married couple like my grandparents and my parents. It will take alot of changes on both our parts, but I am hoping to take it like a challenge. Pray for our strength!

Top 5 Reasons I HATE Delivering to the Holiday Inn Sunspree Resort...aka 3rd gate to HELL!

Ok...Here is Dominoe Dave's Top 5 Reason I HATE delivering pizza's to the Holiday Inn Sunspree Resort......

#5. The non english speaking operator that always transfers me to the wrong room.

#4. Waiting on drunk guys named Armando to wake up from their Jagermiester induced coma to ride an elevator 4 floors to come get his pizza (we are also not allowed at the rooms at the Holiday Inn

#3. NOT BEING ALLOWED AT THE ROOMS AT THE HOLIDAY INN!!! (What do they think we are gonna piss off the balcony?)....since that was aformentioned, #3 is actually getting a call from my boss on the way to work on SATURDAY NIGHT to inform me that some drunk idiot who paid for an order on THURSDAY night on credit card and also gave me 27$ in cash that I had to take him said amount out of my own pocket and pay him back. This was obviously not my fault!!

2. The herd of drunk baffoons that stampede off the shuttle busses screaming the OHIO STATE fight song while each of them coming up to you saying....dude can I have a slice of pizza?? (Yeah, sure have a slice I'll just charge room 666 2$ less. (Armando was from room 666....j/k)

and the Number 1 thing I hate the most about the Holiday Inn Sunpree Resort....*drumroll*

The short security guard in the pink shirt that has a napoleon complex who threaten to kick me off property permanently for selling chicken kickers in the computer room.....I hope he gets puked on by Armando!!!!!

Panama City has become unBEARably Insane!!!

I have lived in Panama City for 10 years or so now....wow, that's weird. I have never lived somewhere that long. Actually 8 1/2 years and 1 1/2 years in Atlanta, but that's besides the point. When I used to come here in highschool, spring break was pretty nutz, but atleast on the city side of the Hathaway Bridge things were pretty hum drum. Well, things are going downhill FAST! We have had a rash of robberies in Panama City. In the past 3 months, 2 fast food joints, 1 convience store, and now a driver from the 15th street Dominoes and a driver from Papa John's on 23rd St. have been robbed at gunpoint. We also had an ATM robbery at the corner of 23rd and 390 Tyndall Teller 2 nights ago. As far as Panama City Beach goes, we have had our regular arrests of Punk-In-Drublics (drunk in publics) and domestic distubances and will continue to do so through the spring break season. The worst week for arrests is ALWAYS when Louisanna (LA) goes on Spring Break. Now as hard as I try NOT to be prejudice against black folk...my patience is extra tried during LA week. This may sound bad, but we are hoping that due to the hurricanes that hit Louisanna last year that this will give us a break from too many New Orleans folk making their way down to PCB. Since I am almost a psychologist and am instructed heavily in Learning theory, I know deep down in my heart it's not a COLOR problem with unruley blacks who have no regard for the law. It is an ECONOMIC AND CULTURALISTIC problem. This theory is a HARD sell with alot of my co-workers who are VERY prejudice. Last year during LA week, a black man who had a warrant for his arrest shot and killed a beach police officer on Front Beach Road. Since then, the cops are not giving ANY slack to ANYONE for not obeying them. This also will reinforce alot of prejudice feelings that SOME of the officers have just from being from the south as well as other people who live here. Anyways, just pray for this city that we survive the rest of SpringBreak and Summer with no serious occurences. We really need it. TOADALLY!!!!!!
P.S. sorry for the bad puns, but these pictures were just so dern cute!

Grin and Bear it......then KICK THE CAT!!!

This week is really testing my patience. All in one week I had my grandmother almost die, my father in the hospital for heart problems (I think that was last week though), 2 trips with my car to the autoshop on back to back days. I had 2 major exams and one quiz in school the week AFTER FREAK'IN SPRING BREAK! How F*cked up is that!! I have 2 papers due I have yet to start on, Kristi got into a fender bender last night at 1:30 on the way home from my house. I was on the phone with her when it happened. The phone went dead so I threw on some pants, no shoes and drove TOP SPEED to make sure she was ok. We had to wait on the cops to get done and so I didn't get to bed till late. Today and yesterday were the trips to the autoshop. I got my car fixed with 20 mins to spare before being to class for my quiz (not the major exam thank god.) I know I totally bombed this quiz. To top ALL of this off, I have worked almost 40 hours this week, most of them worked between the hours of 5 p.m. and 4 a.m. I am not the type to just get home and go to bed either. It usually takes me 30 mins atleast to wind down. (I especially like winding down with Captian Morgan!) Anyways, I guess now would be a good time for scripture like "Psa 42:5 Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and [why] art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him [for] the help of his countenance., or Job 1:21 And said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD. or perhaps
Jer 29:11
'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. ( Hey Mary notice the LINKING!!!!) I think I might go read some psalms tonight when I get home from work......I'll leave "the Captian" on the beach for the night : D

NOT HOT...IN THE HOTTUB...DON'T GET IN THE WATA!

Ok, so in line with the theme of things breaking down....or possibly breaking down (see The View from here.... I also don't know how to link these damn things). I decided that my arms and legs are sore and NOTHING would feel better right now than to soak my tired old bones in my HOTTUB! I got in my shorts and grabbed a towel and headed out to the back porch. I lifted the lid and put my hand down in the water just to make sure it wasn't too hot......to my UTTER DISMAY AND EXTREME DISSAPPOINTMENT...The tub was not only not too hot, it was NIPPIER THAN A WITCHES TEET! (kind of like a Cat's teet for those who have seen Meet The Parents). There aren't many things that really just make me mad. I am a really easy going guy. But, I was FURIOUS!!!! I was SOOO ready to slip in a relax. This is not the first time I have been "weighed, measured, and found wanting". (for A Knight's Tale Fans!) The problem is the damn thing has a kill switch if it gets to hot and will totally cut off and go cold if you don't hit the reset switch. What PISSES ME OFF TO NO END is I pushed the reset switch yesterday. It usually takes a few days to activate the kill switch. Personally if I want to scald myself that is MY BUSINESS....whoever the HELL invented the "kill switch" is not MY BUDDY !


<------Now he's my buddy!


Anyways, It will take atleast overnight to heat back up, so I guess it's either blow icecold bubbles up my bum or sit in the bathtub and make my OWN bubbles........with bubble bath you gross minded people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyways, I always have option number 3 and that is.............................



HOT SPRINGS NORTH CAROLINA!!!!! JUST A 45 MINUTE HELL DRIVE THROUGH THE MOUNTAINS FROM LAKE JUNALUSKA!

Jesus Take the Wheel......Just not at Northside Baptist Church!!

Well, just to give everyone a synopsis of my last week or so, I have gone from working 20-30 hrs a week to working 35-40+ hours, and I have 3...count them 3 tests this week AFTER MY SPRING BREAK! (sorry Allison for neglecting my blogging responsiblities). Wow. Ok, so here is the latest conflict that I just HAD to say something about on my blog. Two Sundays ago, when I was watching the nursery, during the second service a girl name Samantha sang the song "Jesus Take the Wheel" by recent American Idol winner Carrie Underwood in church. I had never heard the song, and barely knew who Carrie Underwood was, but everyone thought she did a fabulous job. (this girl will be singing at my wedding by the way....Samantha not Carrie Underwood). Anyways, the evening after the morning service, the Music Minister (MM) approached Samantha and told her he had researched Carrie Underwood's website and found out that she was on American Idol. He basically told her in a nutshell she'll NEVER sing that song in church again. He said that Carrie Underwood was too "worldly" and that we should want to "bring the world" into the church. Now considering my audience, I am not going to rant and rave about how DUMB and LEGALISTIC and IDIOTIC the MM is on this decision. But I will say that I think issues like this would be alot easier if we all could just looked up to the sky and ask..........Big Buddy!

Well We're Mov'in On Up......

......TOOOO THE EASTSIIIDDEE TO A DELLUXE APPARTMEENNTT IN THE SKKYY!!! I loved that show. Well anyways, Kristi and I put our deposit down yesterday on our first apartment. We are going on some major blind faith, because we haven't even seen the inside. Kristi has a co-worker who lives in the same complex and she said they are nice apartments. The only thing I think that might be a problem is that one of the rooms has a walk-in closet, but no connected bathroom. The other room has a connected bathroom, but no walk-in closet. How Ucked Fup is that. Anyways, we like the location, and it has a pool and HOTTUB!!! GET IN THE WATA....TOO HOT...IN THE HOTTUB *James Brown voice*.....and it also has a workout room, which me and Kristi hope with encourage us to exercise. We try to go walking or jogging when we can, but it's hard to find the time. I am going to move into the apartment on April 15th and go ahead and get everything moved in that we can. I would like to have the entire apartment finished before we get married.....so if you know anyone who is coming to my wedding and is buying me expensive gifts that would go in an "apartment".....my new address as of April 15th will be :

John and Kristi Claunch
2121 Harrison Ave.
Apt. D-5
Panama City, FL 32405

Wow, John and Kristi Claunch. That has a nice ring to it!

Blueboy and Pinky Strike Back!!!

(note: the picture next to BB&P is Darth Tater! I was gonna just put a pic of Darth Vader, but Darth Tater was cooler !)
When the Lord giveth....he GIVETH! Ok, so if you are famliar with my first Blueboy and Pinky blog titled "The Blueboy and Pinky Experience", you're in on the "know" on my generous gratuity I recieved one night while working and making bad money. Well, I thought lightning can't strike in the same place twice, but that's a LIE!! Last night I took a delivery to the most of "ungodly" places........Show N Tail Strip Club. Now, I've made decent tips off dancers before, but not usually from the doorman. Well, last night I brought this dancer named "Stella" a pizza. I had to wait through 3 songs for her to finish her set. I spent that time talking to Dan the Doorman and he decided he wanted to order a pizza. I called Dominoes for him and put an order in for a large pepperoni. I left and returned 30 minutes or so later with Dan's pizza. Dan went and started talking with this guy....who I have no idea...and Dan and the mystery man returned a few moments later. The "angelic" regular customer who remains anonymous said "Dan, you got a pizza?, here dude (talking to me) here is $100...keep it" and he walked away. The bill for the pizza was $8 something which left me a $90 tip. I was flaberghasted. The guy who through me the $100 could certainly afford it with the bankroll of nearly $3,000 in cash he had in his pocket. Dan said that was one of their regulars who was a very generous dude.......generously off his rocker!!! but I'm not complaining. So after working last night, after giving a tipout of $20 and buying a six pack of Smirnoff Ice to share with my co-workers in celebration, I still took home $230 after paying for the gas I had spent for the night. This was the tips I raked from last night plus that "blessing" from the strip club. (whoever said the Lord works in mysterious ways was RIGHT!!!) . Again, I want to stress this was NOT again about the money. I made plenty of money last night anyways, and would have made over $150 regardless. It's about God providing for my needs. Yesterday afternoon, before I went into work, Kristi and I had to put down a deposit on our new apartment. This amount was around $270. I wasn't really planning on forking out that amount yesterday, but I had to to keep the apartment from going to someone else. The money I made last night covered most of that deposit. The big twist for me is my mother's morning devotional. She asked me to read it. It was entitled "The Lord Will Provide!" The devo was about a missionary in India that whose mission was in need of financial help. Prayers were said and answered when she just left her faith in God, not people. The scripture verse it referenced was 1 Kings 17: 8-16 (Mary, if you get discouraged any during this transitional period for you and Lane, I suggest you go read this passage). Infact, anyone who reads this blog, that is your homework assignment!!!! Anyways, I give all the glory to He who provides!!! He has planned my ends......so I must BELIEVE he plans my means as well!!!

Man Down!....The Furthering Adventures of Pizza Boy

Well, I was out delivering pizza to the Party Pimps of Panama last night on my first closing shift of the season. I was heading back to my car from a hotel room at the Howard "touch my" Johnson otherwise known as the Whore Walk Beach Resort, when I stumbled upon my first MAN DOWN of the year. Now usually, the MAN DOWN in question might have been scooped up by his WING MEN, but this poor guy (not dude in picture) was dropped off by some random car, they just left him in the parking lot of the Ho Jo and took off. They happen to drop him off near my car, so I was concerned. I tried to help the poor guy to his feet, but this was NOT gonna happen due to him not knowing where his FEET WERE! Among other items of things that were not known to this man were his NAME, ROOM NUMBER, and THE FACT HE'S NOT SUPPOSE TO CRAWL OVER TOWARDS MY TRUCK AND ALMOST PUKE ON IT! Well, I thought this was a good time for a call to the Minute Men Security Team! Go Team Go! Well, I headed back to Dominoes, luckily with no chunks on my vehicle. This was not the first MAN DOWN experience I had been through, so I was prepared. Last year I had problems with the Gas Waster's of the Miracle Strip throwing things at my Truck. If this becomes a nusance this year, I am bringing my paintball gun out there with me and POPP'IN CAPS!!!!!!!!! BREAK YO'SELF FOO!!!

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the beach........

Well it's that time again......oil up your bods and break out your beerbongs. Spring Break is upon us again down in lovely Panama City Beach. Another Spring of traffic, drunk debauchery, and lots and lots of Pizza! As you guys know, when I am not off being Johnny Caffiene, I drive the Miracle Strip of Panama City Beach and the surrounding area bringing munchies to the the late night weed warriors. Nothing says lov'in like a half-wasted, half naked dude on the 20th floor of a beach condo who meets you with a smile and a cloud of smoke from the bong rips that were just consumed two seconds before my arrival. I love these stoned party animals because they keep my life simple. I GIVE THEM PIZZA, THEY GIVE ME TIPS! No pre-bussing, No "can I get you another margarita", no "your doing a great job, here's 20 cents". These people really appreciate my endeavors..........and if they don't I still make 6$+ an hour!!! But I digress.... The real fact of the matter is I WORK FOR THESE PEOPLE. My boss at dominoes would like to think that I am working hard for the company. BWHAHAHAHAHA.

The truth is I work for these guys ----->

Man I wish God would have limited chest hair growth, it gives too much support for evolution!

But I digress again....I really am looking forward to my last year working the beach. It's been fun, but I think when I graduate I will need to find a real job. Yes that's right. Johnny Caffiene must become Johnny Responsible!

Anyways, if you are heading down to "The Worlds Most Beautiful Beaches" this spring or summer, don't forget to look up Dominoes Pizza for your pepperoni fix. We'll be over at the hotel about an hour after you call....and please be patient with us, I swear we are going as fast as we can....3 miles an hour behind "SHOW US YOUR TITS"!!!!

That car will be shofouring these guys--------->

Check out the birdcage on #6!